Sunday, 8 February 2009

3 Reasons Why Couples Break Up - Can You Prevent it From Happening?

Men and women are different in so many ways but it is undeniable that they need each other. Their physical and emotional desires make it possible for a romantic relationship to blossom. Unfortunately, not all couples have succeeded in keeping the relationship for good. Relationships are really complicated and there are a number of reasons why couples break up.

Here are the top 3 undeniable reasons why couples break up:

Incompatibility. This is one of the reasons why couples break up. Couples realize after being together for sometime that they have different outlook, wants and desires in life. Instead of enjoying their differences and learn from each other's uniqueness, they cannot find a common ground to achieve each other's needs and this incompatibility leads to separation. They failed to realize that it is not the degree of their differences that counts but how couples manage their differences or incompatibilities. There are issues of irreconcilable differences and they thought that the only way out is to take different paths and that is why couples break up eventually.

Falling out of love. This is another reason why couples break up. Couples have different reasons for falling out of love. Some admits that they've lost interest and desire with the relationship because it is so predictable and boring. Parenthood, jobs and careers brings challenges into the relationship and the excitement of the relationship is replaced by responsibilities and routine activities. It is a slow death and they allowed romance and love to disappear in the middle of all those responsibilities and routines and just woke up one day that they do not love their spouse anymore. The sameness, the lack of excitement and the lack of time for each other are some of the reasons for falling out of love and why couples break up.

Infidelity or getting attracted to someone else. This is the most painful reason why couples break up. Finding someone else and falling in love to the point that your spouse wants to leave you. When couples are faced with infidelity problems, most of them failed to survive and restore their marital relationship and end up in separation and divorce. They cannot imagine living with someone who's been unfaithful and a cheater that is why couples break up once infidelity becomes an issue. They overlooked the fact that infidelity does not always lead to separation and there are couples who tried to reconcile and succeeded. Of course there are lingering pains and resentment brought by the unfaithfulness and violation of your trust but there are couples who were able to overcome all these things and revived their marriage.

By Gerry Restrivera

If your relationship or marriage falls into these 3 categories and you are in the verge of separation, can you prevent it from happening? The answer is a resounding Yes! Discover proven methods to getting your marriage back on track and put an end to your stress and worries of not knowing what to do to save your marriage visit Save My Marriage Today

To know more about love and relationships visit All About Relationships

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including 3 Reasons Why Couples Break Up- Can You Prevent it From Happening? You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

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10 Ways To Avoid An Expensive And Messy Divorce!

Divorce is never an easy journey...and with limited resources these days, it is essential to think about the total process and your true goals before embarking on one of the most challenging experiences of your life. Listed below are Ten Ways To Avoid An Expensive and Messy Divorce and more importantly, ways to get you thinking about the process. Divorce itself is already a challenge...the Journey doesn't have to be. So get out a pen and paper and read on!

1. ADDRESS YOUR EMOTIONS: I know this may be an extremely difficult task, but it's very important BEFORE you can move on with your dissolution process and your life. If you are feeling angry, identify why you are angry. If you are hurt, identify for yourself why you are hurt, etc. If you are having difficulty identifying your feelings, it might be beneficial for you to contact either a family member or professional (maybe a therapist) who can help you deal with your emotions. From what I've seen lately, it's clear that before you can move on to deal with the dissolution or to move on with life in general, it's important to honestly address your emotions.

2. YOUR CHILDREN FEEL YOUR PAIN: Please always keep in mind that your children are watching you. They understand when you are upset and if you do not address their feelings, they to may begin to panic! Avoid stress as it relates to your children by listening to their concerns and identifying what you feel is appropriate to tell them about your approaching divorce. It might be beneficial to also allow your children to seek professional help if you feel it's necessary. Additionally, if possible, try to keep your children's schedule as "consistent" as possible during this difficult time.

3.DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU OWN: It is extremely important to identify what you own and all of your assets, i.e. your house or rental properties, your cars, 401(K), Retirement Accounts, Bank Accounts, etc. This will help identify what you may need to discuss with your divorce attorney and/or your spouse.

4. DO YOU KNOW YOUR DEBT: Identify the debt that you and your spouse may have. How many credit cards do you and your spouse own, is there a Line of Credit on your home? Do you have student loans? Did you take a loan on your 401 (k), etc.

5.WHAT'S YOUR BOTTOM LINE?: Once you have identified your children's needs, a breakdown of your assets, and a breakdown of your debts, it's important to ask yourself: What are my goals in terms of the assets, debts, the children? If your spouse asked you, "Honey what do you want?" What would be your response? Absent family, friends, attorneys and what you've heard about divorce, really take time to think about YOUR "Bottom Line."

6. MEDIATION v. LITIGATION: This is an extremely important decision. "Mediation" is a good choice if you and your spouse are seeking an alternative to "traditional litigation" and are willingly to attempt to work out your differences with a third party, instead of "litigating" or allowing the courts to decide your fate. Mediation also tends to be much cheaper! In Mediation you and your spouse negotiate your final outcome instead of attorneys and the court system. Your second option is what I call "traditional litigation." With this option, you both get attorneys, one side files for the divorce, the other side responds, you may have several court appearances etc. This option tends to be a bit more expensive and a bit longer than mediation.

7. COMMUNICATE: If possible, talk to your spouse and try your best to discuss what you feel is best for your family in terms of dividing your assets, your debts, doing what's best for your children, and how you wish to proceed with your divorce. This discussion might ease the difficulty and stress of the divorce and allow the two of you to begin to discuss your options.

8. MAKE A DECISION: Decide if you can what YOU and potentially your spouse think is best for your family in terms of "mediation" or "litigation." This will require you to decide if the two of you can work together with one attorney to meet your needs, or if you think you both need your own attorneys for possible court intervention.

9. CHOOSE AN ATTORNEY: Once you have done ALL of the above...then you must choose an attorney that best fits YOUR needs. You will at this point seek out someone who can either assist you as a "mediator" or "litigator" depending on your goals.

10. BREATHE! You are now on to the next chapter in your life.

By Demetria Graves

By: Demetria L. Graves, Esq.

The Law Offices of Demetria L. Graves

http://www.attorneygraves.com

What you receive from this article is not intended to be legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation.

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How Do You React to Your Divorce?

When dealing with the end of any relationship, you go through a myriad of possible emotions. You may feel sad or angry or depressed. And when the relationship that ends happens to be a marriage that has come to divorce, those emotions may be magnified. How you choose to react to your divorce will be a determining factor in how long it takes you to get over and how well you end up after everything is said and done.

Just as easily as you might be depressed or unhappy, you can also choose to be happy or to see your divorce as a new start in life. Having this kind of perspective will drastically change how you are affected by the termination of your marriage. We all know that marriages do not just end. When people look back with the gift of hindsight, they are able to see the signs of it coming.

WHAT IS DONE IS DONE...

You cannot undo what has already done, so you have to realize that you have to allow yourself to get past the divorce and move on with your life. There is still so much that you can do to make your life enjoyable and fun. You can meet new people and do your own thing. If you have children, this is a time where you will be able to devote one on one time with your kids.

No matter how bad it may seem, it will get better. And when you react to it in a positive light, you will be able to see that you can move on and build a new and even better life for yourself.

By Bryan Appleton

Learn how to attract love, money, or happiness or all three in YOUR LIFE NOW! Go to http://www.successfulfather.com and SIGN up for the FREE newsletter and BOOKMARK the site and return as often as you can!

You can attract the life that you truly desire! All you have to do is learn HOW! Law of Attraction Secrets

Bryan Appleton is an investor/entrepreneuer who has dedicated himself to teaching others how to achieve their dream life. He is also a proud single father with one son.

You can publish this article as long as you leave it intact and in full as well as keeping the url link clickable.

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How to Stop Divorce When One of You Has Broken Trust

Many couples are seeking how to stop divorce. The chances of a newlywed couple suffering a divorce somewhere down the road in today's society runs about 50-50. People get divorced for a variety of reasons. But unfortunately, one of the most common is infidelity, and the broken trust it creates.

If you are the one who cheated on your spouse, then you have to realize that you have broken the trust that your spouse placed in you. You have to not only say you are going to change, you have to exhibit those changes. Actions will definitely speak louder than words in this case. The first step in how to stop divorce is to accept responsibility for your actions.

You must not give your spouse any reason at all to not believe that you have changed. Don't get caught in any kind of questionable environment or situation. Your spouse doesn't trust you (for good reason), and you only want to build their trust, not put more question marks around it. Don't deny or argue if they question your whereabouts or actions. You messed up, and if you really want to save your relationship and stop divorce, you are going to have to appease your spouse while that trust is being rebuilt.

But if you were not the one who is guilty of the infidelity, you first have to consider if you still want to be with your spouse. If you feel that you should give them another chance, put yourself in their shoes and try to understand how this happened. Treat them how you would want to be treated if the tables were reversed. Many times you can stop a divorce, but there are just as many times that infidelity will totally kill the relationship.

You can always ask friends who have had similar situations how to stop divorce. You should also consider professional counseling to stop a divorce before you break up. Do your best to find the best possible relationship advice that you can. After all, you both have much invested in your relationship.

It is quite natural to feel depressed while going through this type of trauma. You may even need to seek counseling for yourself. A marriage can be a great thing, but it can also bring an immense amount of stress and pain when broken trust is involved. There is help out there. Don't be afraid to ask for help on how to stop divorce.

By Lonnie Sallas

It is a very touchy thing to stop a divorce. There are hurt feelings, crushed expectations, and a general sense of failure for both parties involved. If you would like more detailed information on how to stop divorce, then click the link. I sincerely hope that you and your spouse can revive the love you once had and save your relationship. For even more articles and Free Videos on how to stop divorce, visit today.

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How to Protect Children During a Divorce - 3 Steps to Minimizing Emotional Impact

Divorce is an unpleasant and difficult life transition for most people. There is an ideal of commitment, a shared history, living arrangements, finances, and of course the situation with the children which undergoes a fundamental change and/or loss. For your children, divorce is a profound change that they did not choose and have no control over, and it can be very traumatic on them, particularly if the parents allow their own conflict, anger, and bitterness to affect their interactions with the children. There are some steps you can take to protect your child from some of the challenging emotional fall out of divorce:

1. Never badmouth your spouse in front of your children or to them. Yes, you may have a lot of pain and anger during the divorce process, and your intimate relationship with your spouse is ending, but the relationship between your ex spouse and your children continues. Don't put them in a position of feeling pressured to take sides, or to comfort you emotionally. That is what your adult support network - friends, family, therapist -- is for.

2. Don't apologize for the divorce and take all the blame for the event. Yes, this is a big change, but assigning blame to yourself, or your spouse, does not accurately explain the event or assist your children in healthy processing. If you left an abusive alcoholic who cheated on you multiple times, it isn't a bad thing that the marriage ended, so don't treat it as if it is. If your ex continues his or her ways, you will probably not need to say a word. Your children will likely come to understand.

3. Do honor your children's feelings about the divorce. Even if you are not apologizing or assigning blame, you can still let them know their feelings are valid. You can mirror back what your children are saying, such as "What I hear you saying is that you are hurt and angry that this is happening, is that right?" You can offer age appropriate truth. While it isn't necessary to tell all the dirty details, you can honestly say something like, "Your father and I get along better when we live in separate houses, and I can be a better mommy to you then." If you have any questions about what to say, you can speak with a counselor to determine what to say given your unique situation.

By Shannon E Cook

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

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Divorce - 5 Steps to Take BEFORE You Separate

A California Family Law Attorney Explains How To Protect Yourself Before Separating or Divorcing.

Making the decision to separate from your spouse is a difficult one to say the least. In an effort to make you more prepared during this tough transition period, here are the five top ten steps to take before your separate.

Pre Divorce Step 1 - Close all Joint Bank Accounts

Even as a legally separated couple, you are still financially responsible for all joint accounts. In addition, your spouse still has access to these accounts as well.

Pre Divorce Step 2 - Cancel All Joint Credit Cards

As long as both names are on the credit cards, you both will still have access to them. When you have made the decision to separate, make sure that joint credit cards are the first ties to sever. Community debt is debt that occurs while two people are joined in some sort of legal contract such as marriage.

IMPORTANT - Even if the family court judge orders your spouse to pay a debt, the debtor can still come after you if your spouse doesn't pay that debt.

Pre Divorce Step 3 - Redirect Direct Deposits

Any monies that are directly deposited into joint accounts should be redirected immediately to ensure your money stays your money.

Pre Divorce Step 4 - Cancel All Joint Lines of Credit On Jointly-Held Property

In addition to cutting off all lines of credit to mutual properties, try to pay off any or all joint loans. This will cut back on the ties that will bind you to each other down the road.

Pre Divorce Step 5 - Get Legal Advice

Before you separate from your spouse, you need to be equipped with the legal advice needed to get you through this trying time with as little damage to your life and family as possible. Having legal advice can optimize your results in the case of a divorce, especially in child custody issues.

By Gina Famularo

Family legal matters can be extremely emotional, frustrating and costly. Because of this, it is important that you get the right information BEFORE you take action regarding a divorce, child custody, child support, adoption, or any other important legal matter.

Get the information you need to make an intelligent, informed decision regarding your and/or your children's lives. http://www.TemeculaDivorce.com has a wealth of information available to you to help you properly navigate the legal system in Temecula, Murrieta, Hemet, Riverside, and the entire Inland Empire. If you need to speak with an attorney, we have professional, compassionate attorneys to assist you. For a free consultation, please go to http://www.TemeculaDivorce.com

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Top Six Predictors of Divorce - What You Can Do About the Things That Are Crippling Your Marriage

Is your marriage in a rough spot? Odds are that you and your spouse have some of these challenges which researchers call risk factors. If you and your spouse find yourself anywhere on your list don't despair these are simply risk factors and do not determine the future of your marriage and it probably just means that you will need some help or good information to help get on a path towards marital health.

Here is the list of the top 6 risk factors that predict divorce.

1. You married when you were teenagers.

Study after study shows that age at marriage is one of the most powerful and consistent predictors of marital stability. If you marry before you turn twenty, you are much likely to divorce.

2. You lived together before you were married.

This one is counter intuitive to most people because they assume that living together will increase the quality of their marriage. However study after study is showing that that divorce rates are constantly higher for those who live together before they are married.

3. Your parents were divorced.

If you are your spouse come from a divorced family you are more likely to get a divorce. However if one of you comes from a home where there was a good marriage model then these risks actually go down.

4. You get pregnant before you are married.

The good news is that couples with children actually have lower divorce rates however, if their child is born seven months or before they are married then their risk for divorce actually goes up.

5. You haven't been married very long.

Most divorces happen early, often in the first year and about half by year 7. It makes sense to stick it out and let your marriage have a chance.

6. You make less than $25,000 a year.

Issues around money are some of the most common and deadly to marriages.

So again, if you find yourself on this list just remember these are the things that you can't change. So if you are worried about your marriage, if you are fighting all the time, or if you are talking about divorce you should know that there is hope. With the right information and a willingness to work on your marriage you can save it and make it something that is life giving to you both.

By Kimberly P. James

So take action right now and learn How To Save Your Marriage simply Click Here and you can learn how to make the changes your marriage needs to survive and then thrive.

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