Marriage is For a Lifetime

As far as I know nobody has asked to change the vows one makes at the altar to something other than "until death do you part" The idea of marriage being a permanent relationship that lasts a lifetime is tremendously important. The children who come into this world through a family need the security of permanence. Yet the statistics demonstrate a society that does not know how to make marriage permanent. Of all the skills learned in schools none could be more important than the 'how to live' skills everyone needs in order to understand and cultivate deep meaningful relationships. Yet there are no skills taught in our schools that even come close to teaching people how to be married. Nearly everyone gets married, and over 50% of everyone who gets married gets a divorce. It is not out of a lack of trying.

You Don't Need To Be a Statistic

If you buy a computer or even a washing machine a manual will come with the product. Could you imagine buying a new camera and not having a manual with it? It would be freak out city! You would even be afraid to turn it on. Yet people get married every single day without having any idea of where 95% of the switches are that influence their relationship. Have you ever had a perfect relationship in your life? Well, this is the one you want to be perfect and it can be. But you need a manual.

Here are 7 questions for you:

1) What is the leading cause of problems in marriage?

2) What are three things you should say to each other every single day?

3) What is the definition of marriage?

4) How do you make sure your marriage improves every single day?

5) What is intimacy compared to sex?

6) How do you protect your marriage from outside negative influences?

7) How do you have the best marriage in the world for the rest of your life?

The principles of right behavior in marriage are universal. Learning the principles and how to apply them will make your marriage the most amazingly incredible experience of your life, as it is supposed to be.

You don't have to take a risk that the anecdotes you have heard about being married or the advice your aunt gave you will work. Don't leave your marriage to chance. Study marriage as if your life depends upon it. Don't become one of my clients in five years because you couldn't figure it out on your own.

If you are like most people you've put more effort into planning your wedding day than you have your marriage. Now you have an opportunity to protect the most important decision of your life. You can and must walk confidently down the aisle and pathway of life.

By Paul W. Friedman

Paul Friedman, author of http://www.lessonsforahappymarriage.com, entered into the business of helping couples mend their marriages after a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients: they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn't work. Read more on Paul Friedman's blog: http://www.lessonsforahappymarriage.com/relationship-advice-blog.html

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Manage Your Relationships to Save Your Marriage

Everyone has their own opinion, but it isn't healthy to have a lot of negative input coming in about your marriage or spouse. If your friends or family are not supportive of your marriage or your spouse, it can cause your relationship to fail. It is important to nurture relationships with friends and family members who are positive role models for your marriage and who appreciate the work and patience it takes to make a good marriage.

People who are sarcastic to everyone just don't make good supporters. Sarcasm is hard on any relationship. Negative and pessimistic people can depress their friends and family and cause all kinds of relationship hardships. Look for friends and relatives who support you and have a positive outlook. Try to be that kind of friend to others also. Whiners and cryers just bring you down. Having hope and optimism is also contagious and is much more of an advantage in a relationship.

When you are depressed you will gravitate to people who are also depressed. Recognize that and get yourself out of that downward spiral. Consciously look for others who are happy and like to have the kind of fun that is positive and supportive.

If you pick out friends that can nurture you as well as be nurtured by you, you are likely to be happier. If your friends are discouraged in their marriages or relationships, they will drain away your happiness. Even happy people get sick or get discouraged but it is better to associate with those who maintain optomism even in bad times or are at least getting counseling or professional help to make their circumstances better.

By Lucy Becker

Save your marriage right now. Click this link http://save-marriage-now.blogspot.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lucy_Becker

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Keep Your Husband Sexually Satisfied, Happy and in Love With You!

To keep a husband sexually satisfied is to have him fall deeper in love with you. Making love in a marriage is how the two of you connect at the soul. If you can learn the art to be pleasing to each other, the connection that the two of you have can become so strong, your husband will be bound to you forever...

Keeping him happy will not only show him how much you love him! It will encourage him to make love to you in a more intimate way also. There are a number of things you can learn that will satisfy a man, but as each of us have our own little fetish towards sex, your husband's will vary from others. I will point out some key points to focus on...

Visual Satisfaction! Every man loves to look at woman in sexy clothes, whether it be hot lingerie, or a tight miniskirt or slinky dress. When it is just the two of you, why not go all out and tease you husband with something that shows off your curves!

Vocal Satisfaction! Talking your husband up, as being your knight in shining armor, and hinting to him about what you would like to do with him, or what you would like him to do with you, is nicely arousing. And just in general conversation, if you can add in some flirtatious comments it will also go along way...

Vibrant Satisfaction! This is more of an after sex satisfying pleasure, or on a non love making night thing. But you know how much you love to be touched where you are most sensitive? Men love this type of sensual behavior also, snuggling up to him after some good passionate love making and caressing his chest or back will make him feel like he's your special ONE! And this can also be a trigger for a round two, if you feel like it...

There are other things such as giving some oral satisfaction, which most men enjoy, but not all woman like. But more importantly try to be spontaneous with your husband, and surprise him sometimes by ripping his clothes of in the bathroom, or somewhere different? Keep your husband sexually satisfied by making love exciting and random once in a while, and create those happy intimate memory's...

By Robert Lees

Sex is what feeds the soul! A great place to learn more about how to keep a Husband Sexually Satisfied for life! With a deep understanding of emotional love is this site Right Here

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How to Make Your Husband Fall Back in Love With You Again - Advice For Wives

How to make your husband fall back in love with you again is something many women start to wonder about during the course of their marriage. Couples change and what was once a sizzling hot romance may shift into more of a platonic friendship. It's frustrating when you begin to feel that your husband isn't as crazy about you as he once was. Many women simply buy into the idea that once their husband falls out of love there's nothing they can do but agree to a divorce. If you still love your spouse there are many ways you can reignite the romance and make him fall in love with you all over again.

When you are thinking about how to make your husband fall back in love consider the qualities he admired about you early in your relationship. There's no denying that both partners change as the marriage progresses and those changes can and do impact feelings. If you were very goal oriented when you two first met and now you are finding it difficult to discover a career or life direction that is something you should work on. It's also easy to fall into the trap of being extra critical with your spouse. If you were easy going and accepting early in the relationship you need to rediscover that quality within yourself now.

It's also human nature to want to understand why your husband doesn't feel as close emotionally as he once did. Many women barrage their husbands with questions about his shift in feelings and instead of this helping the situation, it only creates more tension. Most men aren't comfortable talking about what they are feeling and they retreat when they feel pushed about it. If you've already brought up the subject with your spouse, don't push it. Instead get busy doing your own thing. Focusing on yourself more can actually be one of the ways to make your husband fall back in love with you. All men want to be with women who place a high value on themselves. Your husband will find you much more interesting and appealing if you have a life that is full and rewarding. Instead of doting on why he doesn't seem to love you now as much as he once did, show him that you know you're worth loving. It will naturally draw him closer to you.

By Gillian Reynolds

Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to fall in love with you all over again. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. If you want your husband to fall even deeper in love with you now than when you two first married, visit this helpful site

You don't have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you. Find out here what you need to be doing to ensure your husband loves you always

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds

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The Top 3 Marriage Killers and What You Can Do to Fix Them - You Can Save Your Marriage

Are you struggling in your marriage? Do you wonder what happened to the relationship that you were so excited about on the honeymoon and why you and your spouse so feel so isolated from each other? You are at a place that most couples have found themselves in and were able to come out on the other side.

If you see someone who says they have been "happily married" for 30 years. What they generally mean is that they have stuck it out through some of the hard years and didn't wound each other to the point that they couldn't repair the relationship, and that now they are able to enjoy the fruits of their hard work. You can move through this season as well if make sure to not further damage the relationship and commit to get and act on information that others have found helpful in putting their marriage back together.

Here are 3 things you need to avoid during this season so that you can begin working on the relationship:

1. Don't lash out in anger. You are probably frustrated right now but if you yell and scream you may feel better but your spouse will be wounded and will remember what you said long after you have forgotten.

2. Don't assume the worst. Often times when you are in a rough place in your marriage you will tend to negatively interpret things. Simple questions like "When will you be home? Where are you going? What would you like to do this weekend?" can seem like a full on attack if you are at odds with each other. Train yourself to not see these questions or statements as attacks, because often they are not.

3. Don't avoid conflict. We think that our marriage will be better if we don't deal with the hard issues that we know need to be addressed. The reality is that if you avoid them they generally grow and do not go away. So make sure you address them, just be smart about how and when you do so.

If you will avoid these 3 traps this will give you enough good will to start working on your marriage together. Even if you spouse isn't interested in working on your marriage you can still get the information you need and begin working on your relationship, because every marriage has a chance and every marriage is worth fighting for. It just takes someone going first.

By Kimberly P. James

Here is some of the best information I have found on How To Save Your Marriage simply Click Here and you can being saving your marriage today

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4 Practical Tips on How to Save Marriage

It's disheartening to know that there are lots of unhappy marriages out there and many end up in messy divorces. The fact is, getting is a divorce is not the usual solution when a marriage hits rock bottom. There are many ways to save marriage. If both partners are committed to save their relationship, they can always seek help from a reputable counselor.

Aside from counseling services, there are other practical tips on how to save marriage. Take note of the following, for this will help you.

* Learn to realize that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every relationship has its own share of problems, and there are those that are so massive that it will threaten your relationship as a whole. This is all very natural. A couple must learn how to overcome all their problems and keep the marriage intact. Those couples who seek perfection will be doomed to deep disappointment. People will always make mistakes and they must learn how to fix them, especially if they are in a marriage.

* Good communication is essential. Couples who can't communicate openly always experience problems in their relationship. Being honest with your partner is one of the most important ingredients when it comes to saving marriage. Issues of all kinds can be resolved with the right amount of communication.

* Learn how to compromise with your partner. There is a reason why compromise is considered an art, and for a good reason. It's not easy finding a middle ground between two people and their principles in order to come up with something that both of them can live with. Marriage is all about compromise, actually. You can't afford to be selfish when you're married. There are times that you will have to give way, and there are situations that your partner will have to do the same.

* It's all about commitment. Remember that marriage is like having a car. If the car breaks down, you just don't say that you want to get rid of the car, do you? You will do all you can to fix it, of course. Getting rid of a car is usually the last resort, and this is only done when the damage is truly beyond hopeless. How to save marriage relies largely on the amount of commitment that both partners put into it. It just won't work if one is disinterested in making things work.

Of course, there are marriages that can't be saved no matter what measures are taken. There are issues that can't really be solved no matter how much help is extended by counseling. In these cases, divorce can be considered. Just as it's not good to dissolve a union, it's also not a good thing to keep two people who are at odds with each other in a relationship. It's great to know that there are many ways to save a marriage, but again, some things can't be resolved and such relationships are meant to be dissolved.

By Mary R. Jones

How to Save Marriage

Visit my blog at http://howtosavemarriage.org

Mary R. Jones

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Warning Signs of Marriage in Trouble - It's More Common Than You Think

Here are some of the top marriage trouble signs.

1. You're romantically or sexually involved with another person.

Being sexually involved with another person is without a doubt one of the top signs of troubled marriage that it doesn't need any further explanation.

2. You have stopped talking to each other.

Communication is a very important part of any relationship and when it doesn't exist, the marriage is bound to head to failure. No doubts about it.

Without being able to properly talk to your spouse about your feelings, you then begin to assume a lot of things. Then you begin to see things that aren't there. Before you know it, you begin to develop feelings of annoyance, maybe even anger.

3. You have stopped arguing.

All couples argue or fight. When they stop doing so, it means they've given up. I'm not talking about fighting every hour of the day every day. I'm talking about the normal fights that couples argue about which they either find a solution to or a compromise for that matter.

4. Being with your spouse is getting to be very suffocating.

When every time you are with your spouse, you begin to feel suffocated you just want to get out, then there's obviously trouble in your marriage.

5. You have no respect for each other.

Respect should be ranked high in the priorities of any relationship. When this respect for each other doesn't exist, a big chunk of what keeps a marriage together is taken away.

6. There's no intimacy.

When I speak of intimacy, I mean both sexual intimacy and the little-things-that-make-each other-special kind of intimacy. When you just don't care anymore and stop doing little things that make you husband and wife ( such as an unexpected i love you, making him/her coffee in the morning, a hug when sleeping at night, among others), then this signals that some work needs to be done for your marriage to survive

By David Fausto

If you think you have a troubled marriage, it doesn't have to lead to divorce or separation. Get some troubled marriage help or support. Visit http://savingamarriage.info/ for details

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Getting Your Husband Back

The women who contact me may be in different places in their marriages - some are facing a divorce, some are separated, some just feel a distance in their marriage, and for some - the ink on the divorce papers is dry, but all of them want the same thing - they want to get their husbands back. They want to know the right thing to say, the right way to act, and the right actions to take.

They regret the things that they said or didn't say - the things left unsaid and the things said too harshly. In summary, they are filled with regret and just want one more chance to make things right. But, they don't know what it is going to take to get that chance. In the following article, I'll go over some considerations that may help you in getting your husband back.

When Is It Too Late To Lay Your Cards On The Table?: There's a really fine line between putting it all out there and appearing too desperate and needy. How much you reveal is going to depend upon whether your husband has already left or if there are just problems brewing. If he hasn't yet left the home and the communication is still open, there is nothing wrong with making it very clear that you'd like to save the marriage. But, it's also important that you don't lay it on too thickly.

At the end of the day, there are a lot of negative emotions surrounding the marriage and your husband is seeing things through the veil of negativity. So, don't add to this by trying to guilt him or argue with him or by playing the pity or ultimatum card. You want to always conduct yourself in a way that you will be proud of and will ultimately appear attractive to him. And a desperate, angry, bitter, or terrified woman is not usually attractive to a man. Of course you can't convincingly convey that you aren't affected by this. It wouldn't be normal if you weren't, but always be conscious of the image that you are portraying.

Finding A Point Of Concession: Sometimes when I tell women that they need to find something on which they can agree, they tell me that nothing falls into this category. They say that there's no middle ground or that there's too much water under the bridge. In short, they make this way too complicated.

If the situation is set up to where one of you is going to emerge the winner and one of you is going to be the one who loses, then both of you are going to fight to the bitter end, ensuring that you certainly aren't working together toward some common goal.

Here's one of the easiest ways to find that middle ground. When you are both calm and rational, explain to your husband that you've thought about it and you realize that you can't single handedly change things as they stand now. A marriage takes too people and saving it will take two very committed people. You can not control his actions or thoughts and it would be disrespectful for you to try to do so. However, you can control yourself. And, you've decided to make your goal right now to now allow things to deteriorate any further. Explain that your husband is still important to you and you can't look at yourself in the mirror if you allowed this relationship to deteriorate further. So, for your part, you're going to act in such a way that brings you closer together - no matter where this leads.

You may not get the reaction that you were hoping for at first. But, that's likely because, up until now, your husband has been conditioned to think that things will never change - not really. However, you're going to show him, not tell him, that he's wrong about this. Over time, he should come to see things your way, if you play this correctly.

Knowing That It's Really Going To Take To Get Your Husband Back: At the end of the day, getting your husband back comes down to only a few things. First, you have to begin to change the negative perceptions and interactions into positive ones. This comes with just moving slowly and taking it day by day. This usually won't happen over night. But, the good days will build on one another until they begin to become more frequent.

Once some positive interactions have occurred and there is a reoccurring comfort level where you're both looking forward to spending time together, you then slowly focus on reestablishing a closeness and a bond. In truth, divorce is often nothing more than the result of when the intimacy and bond is lost. You must regain it to save your marriage. And, the steps toward this are often introducing the two people who first fell in love.

Your husband has to be exposed to the woman who first excited and delighted him. When I tell women this, they will sometimes get nervous and say something like "sure, I'll just turn back the clock and make it 1978 again." This isn't at all what I mean. What I mean is that you need to bring back the woman with the infectious laugh, the one who couldn't learn enough about him, the one who really wanted to know how his day was and wanted to have a part in making it a good one.

Many women will ask me: "what, you want me to fake it?" No, not at all. I want you to take some time thinking about those things that first drew you to your husband and then use the best version of him to motivate you to bring forth the best version of yourself. Because your best case scenario is for these two to meet up and find that they still love each other very much and don't want to part ways.

By Leslie Cane

When I was trying to save my own marriage, my husband's mind was made up. He was going forward with moving out and then the divorce. I let him walk out the door and it almost cost me my marriage. This was only one of the many mistakes I made. Thankfully, I realized my tactics were not working and changed course. Eventually, I was able to not only restore my husband's love, but save our marriage. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane

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When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce, But You Don't

It would be nice if every one agreed when divorce was on the table. But, in my experience, this is rarely the case. Often, one spouse wants and is pushing for the divorce while the other desperately wants to save the marriage. This was the case with me and with many of the readers who visit my blog. So I know first hand that this is a very difficult position to be in because you're the odd man out, your heart is breaking, and you're hearing conflicting advice. Your heart is telling you to fight for your marriage while your head, some friends, and perhaps your attorney is telling you to protect both your assets and your heart. This article will not give legal advice regarding your divorce. Because I conducted tons of research when trying to change my husband's mind about the divorce, my experience lies with saving marriages when you are the only one who wants to, by controlling what you can right now - yourself.

Want You Must Do If You Want To Save Your Marriage: Here are the top marriage saving tips that I have seen work countless times. I realize that they may seem counter intuitive and they may feel weird at first. But, you need to understand that doing what may feel right at this time (closing yourself off, engaging with your spouse, trying to make your spouse feel guilty, trying to manipulate them, etc.) only pushes them further away and only speeds up the downward spiral you are on.

You Need To Be On Their Side: Let's think about this for a second. You want a divorce, but they don't. You're on separate sides of the fence. If he wins, you lose your marriage. If you win, you've managed to strong arm him into to doing what he didn't want to do. So, even in the best case scenario, his heart isn't really in it and the chances for long term success are not as good as they can be.

It's better to jump on their side of the fence (or at least make them think that you are). Doing this alleviates the tension and ensures that they begin to give you more access to them. You want to present yourself as someone who doesn't want a divorce, but who wants their spouse to be happy and who is willing to put your wishes aside (at least for now) to help them accomplish this. I know this may sound risky, but it is actually the only plan that allows every one to get what they want, so that when the marriage is saved, you have the best chance of long term success.

So tell your spouse that you are hearing what they are telling you and that you respect their feelings. Explain that you agree that the marriage is not fulfilling for either of you and that you both deserve better than this. Promise that you will no longer engage in behaviors that run counter to this and confess that you too, could use some space and time to work on yourself. I know this may sound difficult, but it's important that you come off very convincing. At first, your spouse may not believe you, but eventually they will as you show them that you are going to do exactly what you promised.

Always Be Conscious Of The Image That You Are Presenting And Note How It Differs From The Person They First Fell In Love With: It may be hard to hear, but I have to be honest. Right now, your spouse sees you in a negative light. When he thinks of you, he thinks of something that is lost and can't be found. And, he thinks that things can't or won't change. So, you need to change both of these perceptions.

You need to remember and pinpoint exactly why he was attracted to you and which attributes most contributed to this. Most people will immediately think of things like physical attributes and chemistry. This is normal. But, lasting marriages don't value these things over all else. I'll bet if you dig deeper, you'll discover things like a sense of humor, honesty, making your spouse feel important, desired and appreciated. (Although looking and feeling your best is important too.) Ask yourself how often your spouse sees these attributes. The obvious answer is not enough.

I know that you may be thinking "well, it's too late for this. We're getting a divorce, so it won't matter. I can act this way until I'm blue in the face, but he won't see it." I understand why you feel this way, but this is not necessarily true. I find that often, once you agree with your spouse and confess that you'd like some time yourself, they will often wonder what is going on. So, they'll keep one eye and ear open. I'm sure you have mutual friends and I'm sure you know where they hang out. It's so important that you polish yourself off, put a smile on your face, and get out there. You want your husband (or wife) to be aware that the vibrant, busy, and engaging person they fell in love is still around.

Bringing Back The Balance Of Power: Probably the biggest misstep that I see people make is that even when these things start to work, they let their guards down. They find their spouses receptive again and the relationship become lighter and more fun and then they let go of everything they were doing and revisit their old behaviors and mistakes of the past. They push for reassurances and commitments and scare the spouse away. So now your job is that much harder because your spouse will no longer believe you, and you have to go back to the drawing board. Always move very slowly. It's better to leave them wanting more than to move too quickly.

Remember that your best case scenario is that your spouse sees the open, honest, fun, lighthearted person that they first fell in love with and wants to spend more time with that person, while you play it cool and take it slow. Then, you're at least an equal partner in this this and are again on a level playing field. And, your relationship is steadily improving and moving forward.

By Leslie Cane

When my husband wanted a divorce (but I desperately want to save my marriage), I made many mistakes. I begged, argued, stalked and engaged, but these tactics back fired. Thankfully, I finally realized I was doing more harm than good and was able to change course using the tactics discussed here and save the marriage. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane

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My Wife is Leaving - Keep Your Wife From Leaving by Letting Her Go

I love my wife but she is leaving - what now?

Breakups can destroy lives, they can lead us in to depression, they can have an enormous emotional effect on our children and they have the power to change the course of everyone's lives close to us if we let them.

Are all breakups bad? Do they all bring long lasting grief?

In certain circumstances they don't, especially when the circumstances before the separation were terrible, particularly if they were physically or mentally abusive. Sometimes the separation may actually be the best thing for everyone involved. Now I am certainly not suggesting that you won't have to mentally cope with the emotions that come with a separation but you will get through them much faster if you have accepted your situation for what it is.

The key is getting your feet on solid ground. Most relationships are salvageable however the real key is determining if they should be salvaged otherwise you're likely to be in a vicious love hate cycle for years to come.

Here are some deep thought provoking quotes that can help you gain some clarity:

Grant Gudmundson: Love is unconditional, relationships are not.

Anonymous: Relationships are like glass. Sometimes its better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

Victoria Holt: Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.

Robert Frost: Families break up when people take hints you don't intend and miss hints you do intend.

If your wife has made the final decision that she is leaving then you must be careful about what you do next. If you had what you would consider to be a great relationship with your wife then your first move should be to let her go. At this point your wife is emotional, she has made up her mind that she is leaving and the last thing that you want to do is stand in her way.

Letting her go and accepting the situation for what it is, is actually the most important step to eventually getting her back. Women don't just pick up and leave for no reason unless they are mentally unstable. You're eventually going to find out where you went wrong but at first give her some space and let her collect her thoughts.

Acceptance is huge, stay away from negativity or re-hashing the things that are wrong. Eventually you'll have an opportunity but for now play it cool and give her some space.

By Adrian P.

There is a book that you might want to read called The Magic of Making Up written by a gentleman named T.W. Jackson. This book is a real eye opener and it is not just for people who's wives are leaving, this is a must read for anyone looking for solid advice on relationships

His suggestions are all total common sense but somehow escape many of us. In this case the advice on relationships that T.W. hands out is totally unconventional, things that you will not hear from the $100.00 per hour relationship doctor's or get from most relationship books. You might want to check this out for yourself by clicking the link below, you can start by watching an under 10 minute video where T.W. talks about the power of acceptance

http://www.squidoo.com/Getting-Ex-Back-2

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Adrian_P.

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Top Six Predictors of Divorce - What You Can Do About the Things That Are Crippling Your Marriage

Is your marriage in a rough spot? Odds are that you and your spouse have some of these challenges which researchers call risk factors. If you and your spouse find yourself anywhere on your list don't despair these are simply risk factors and do not determine the future of your marriage and it probably just means that you will need some help or good information to help get on a path towards marital health.

Here is the list of the top 6 risk factors that predict divorce.

1. You married when you were teenagers.

Study after study shows that age at marriage is one of the most powerful and consistent predictors of marital stability. If you marry before you turn twenty, you are much likely to divorce.

2. You lived together before you were married.

This one is counter intuitive to most people because they assume that living together will increase the quality of their marriage. However study after study is showing that that divorce rates are constantly higher for those who live together before they are married.

3. Your parents were divorced.

If you are your spouse come from a divorced family you are more likely to get a divorce. However if one of you comes from a home where there was a good marriage model then these risks actually go down.

4. You get pregnant before you are married.

The good news is that couples with children actually have lower divorce rates however, if their child is born seven months or before they are married then their risk for divorce actually goes up.

5. You haven't been married very long.

Most divorces happen early, often in the first year and about half by year 7. It makes sense to stick it out and let your marriage have a chance.

6. You make less than $25,000 a year.

Issues around money are some of the most common and deadly to marriages.

So again, if you find yourself on this list just remember these are the things that you can't change. So if you are worried about your marriage, if you are fighting all the time, or if you are talking about divorce you should know that there is hope. With the right information and a willingness to work on your marriage you can save it and make it something that is life giving to you both.

By Kimberly P. James

So take action right now and learn How To Save Your Marriage simply Click Here and you can learn how to make the changes your marriage needs to survive and then thrive

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To Divorce Or Not - 5 Signs Divorce May Be the Best Option

Divorce is a painful life transition for most people and should not be undertaken lightly. However, if you have tried all you know to improve the relationship and there are certain dealbreakers in place, it may be that the relationship is best off ending before things get worse. Here are 5 signs divorce may be the best decision:

1. You and your partner are committing serial infidelity. An affair can end up strengthening a marriage if the result is better communication and accountability between the partners. But if one or both are continually betraying the other, there is no way to build a foundation of any kind of trust in the marriage. Moreover, the physical dangers of disease in a non-monogamous relationship are very real.

2. There is untreated addiction in your partner. If your partner abuses drugs and alcohol, then the marriage is an unstable and unbalanced one. You are running the risk of being affected by legal issues (DUI's, personal injury, etc), and may be endangering your very safety as well (for example if you get in a car with your intoxicated spouse). Your partner is going to continue to be consumed with obtaining the substance and will not be fully present in the relationship.

3. Your partner is physically abusive. If your partner harms or threatens to harm you physically in any way, please contact a counselor or shelter that specializes in domestic violence. You will need guidance to navigate this difficult situation. Keep in mind, physical abuse often escalates and you need to do all you can to protect yourself.

4. Your partner is emotionally and psychologically abusive. This type of abuse may be more difficult to detect, but it can be very destructive to your psyche. It can keep you depressed and feeling inferior, isolated, incompetent, and even crazy. The best treatment starts with removal from the influence of the abuser.

5. Your partner suffers from a personality disorder. Chances are, the disorder will drive your partner to commit some of the aforementioned hurtful acts. Unfortunately, personality disorders like narcissism and sociopathy/psychopathy are hard wired into the psyche of the individual, and there is no definitive cure or consistently effective treatment. If your partner is wired to be callous, unfeeling, and concerned with self above all others, continuing on in the destructive relationship is unlikely to yield better results for you.

By Shannon E Cook

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health

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How Can I Fix My Relationship With My Ex Wife?

If your ex wife starts to exhibit more interest in you, and even begins to flirt with you, do not jump the gun even though this is a really good signal. Are you asking yourself "can I fix my relationship with my ex wife?"

Your ex wife is unquestionably thinking about getting you back with signs like these. Don't just jump straight into things even though you do want to get back with your ex wife. Your ex wife will in all likelihood respond better if you play a little hard to get. Your ex wife may start pushing you away again if you suddenly jump into things full force. If your ex wife is giving you indications that they want you back, then that was probably triggered by you playing hard to get in the very first place.

Often after a break up you will start to miss each other and star longing to get back together again. This is seen more often when a relationship has lasted a year or more. Because of the time your ex wife has spent with you, they are more than likely going to miss you. There are several other emotions kicking in here, such as past regrets. If you're thinking "can I fix my relationship with my ex wife", there is a very good chance that your ex wife is thinking the same thing.

Sometimes following a break up your ex wife may show signs of wanting you back, but it could be just a game. They may simply be trying to get attention because they realize that you still love them, but they may not even intend to get you back. So, unless your ex wife really does want to spend time more with you, there maybe a chance that they are just passing time because they don't have anyone else. In the worst case scenario you ex wife might be just trying to get back at you. This is one reason why it's important to take your time and not rush into things, you need to focus on the situation before you act on it.

This is quite common, and many people start thinking "can I fix my relationship with my ex wife?", but in all honesty, before you act, you should get a feel for the situation first. In reality, if your ex wife does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best scenario because it will keep you from getting hurt if your ex wife is not really serious about getting back with you.

By Daniel Coles

Can I really fix my relationship?

Yes of course you can, you just need a plan of action, you need to know what the psychological triggers are, once armed with that knowledge you will soon have her back. Watch a great free video that shows you exactly what you must never ever do and exactly what you should do to after a break up and how to get your ex wife back and fix your relationship

If you have already done those things that you should NEVER do, then don't worry, you will learn how to reverse the situation quickly and easily

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Top Signs to Know When Your Marriage is Over - This Is What Experts Have to Say

There sometimes comes a point in your relationship when you anxiously want to know if your marriage is over. You wonder if your marriage is showing problem signs of a troubled marriage. It's not exactly one of those things you would like to ask but the stress, the fights, even the silence become all too unbearable that you can't help but think about an impending divorce.

Listed below are three things your relationship may be experiencing that could show signs that the marriage is over or at least going there.

1. You can't stand each other anymore.

Of course there are times in a normal marriage when you feel you can't stand your husband/wife. But this one is different. This is the kind of feeling that sits with anger in your heart. You could not even think about how or why you fell in love with him/her in the first place. You look at him/her and all you see are the bad things. And this feeling gnaws your very soul every single day. Every time you see him. Every time you sleep next to him.

2. It's A Sexless Marriage

Sex is very important part in any marriage. It takes you to a level of intimacy that in one way or the other affirms you love each other.

When sex is absent in marriage (and i don't mean not doing it for a week), it takes away a special connection between couples. And if it goes on for months or even years, it contributes to a troubled relationship as well. And this could be a primary factor of the marriage leading to being over.

3. Communication Breakdown

When you've both given up talking to each other. Or when you do start to talk, you ALWAYS end up screaming, shutting the door, or walking out, there's obviously a breakdown in communication.

This is a very common reason in marriages breaking up. Being able to talk and iron things out is an extremely important factor in the survival of a relationship.

These are some of the signs of a troubled marriage. However, this doesn't necessarily mean that it's the end of your marriage.

By David Fausto

There are ways to saving a marriage even when you´re the only one who wants to work at it. Go to http://savingamarriage.info to learn how to re-ignite the fires in your relationship

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Can You Deny Your Spouse a Divorce? What If You Don't Sign the Divorce Papers?

Many of the people who find my blog do so because they absolutely don't want a divorce and they want to save their marriage at all costs. I often get emails that say things like: "My spouse wants a divorce. How can I stop this? What if I refuse to sign the divorce papers? What if I dodge being served? How can I stop this process? Can I deny them a divorce?"

First off, I'm by no means an attorney and the law varies from state to state, but you can't just stick your head in the sand and refuse to see what's going on around you. Pretending that it's not happening won't make it go away. In many states, all that refusing to sign the papers will get you is a default divorce. You have a certain amount of time to file an answer to their petition. And, if you don't respond, they can ask the judge to default you for your lack of response. So, essentially, not answering or refusing to be served can ultimately result in a divorce anyway. In my opinion, this is a very faulty strategy. I'll tell you what I think is a better tactic below.

Why Refusing To Cooperate Is Not The Answer: If you want to stop or deny the divorce, it's very likely that you want to take (or not take) this action because you want to stay married. You don't want to be divorced and you want to save your marriage. And, you think that the only way for this to happen is to strategically try to block them from successfully divorcing you.

But, sometimes, we can't see the forest for the trees. Think about this for a second. Let's say that you got your way and were successful. Let's say that you could stay married by refusing to cooperate or sign the papers. What would that get you in the end? Your spouse would be very angry that you denied them what they wanted. They would only be remaining married to you because they had no other choice. Is that how you want your marriage to look? Is that the way that you want to live? Of course not.

Instead, you want for them to WANT to remain married to you. You want two committed people who are willing to work together to rescue this relationship. But, you're never going to get that if you dig in your heels, butt heads with them, and remain completely combative. You can not make them want to stay married to you by being their adversary. You'll have to change course to have any chance of luring them back into the marriage.

The Best Way To Remain Married When Your Spouse Is Trying To Divorce You: The best way to turn this thing around is to somehow convince them that they want to remain married to you - that the divorce is a mistake. Obviously, it's not likely that they'll make this turnaround if you are fighting them tooth and nail.

So, you'll need to become their ally rather than their adversary. You need to sit them down and tell them that although you are going to protect yourself if this divorce (it would be absolutely silly not to), you don't want to allow this to deteriorate your relationship. State that you hope that you can both proceed and act in a way that you can both be proud of. Tell them that you will no longer act in a combative way and that although you would very much like to save the marriage, you can't control how they feel or what they think. You can only control yourself. And, you're going to do that by handling this with dignity and grace.

Divorce mediation is an excellent tool. Many readers tell me that the mediation actually helped to restore some positive aspects of the relationship. Many people will avoid mediation because they think that it brings the divorce closer, but the professionals who mediate can often help you find common ground. You very much need this if you want to save your marriage.

When I explain this to people, some will respond with "are you telling me to just give up? I'm just supposed to give in and accept the divorce?" No, that's not what I'm saying. In truth, you are fighting the divorce. You're planning to save the marriage, but they can't know that because if they do, they're going to think that everything that comes out of your mouth is going to be part of a plan to make sure they change their mind. And in this scenario, they aren't going to really listen to a word you say.

By making these concessions, you're making them think it's safe to listen to you again, that they don't have to avoid you at all costs anymore. This is important because in order to save your marriage, you will need to have access to them.

The First Steps To Getting Them To Want To Stay Married Rather Than Wanting A Divorce: There's no denying that you have a lot of work to do. Going from the brink of divorce to a couple who is saving a marriage takes a lot of finesse. But, the first step in this process is turning their negative perceptions of you and your marriage into positive ones. They can't cringe or become angry every time they think of or look at you.

By no means does this happen over night. It takes tiny baby steps and accepting small victories. But, you have to break down things day by day, meeting by meeting. Your primary goal should simply be to make every meeting and encounter turn out positively. This won't happen every time, but each positive meeting will build upon itself until they are actually looking forward to seeing you.

Once you've reached this level, then you should start restoring fun, pleasurable shared experiences. What you're trying to do is to rebuild the intimacy, connection, and trust. You're trying to reignite the two people who once fell in love. This often requires for you to dig deep and to bring forth those attributes that your partner first fell in love with. Did he used to love your sense of humor and the way you listened intently to him? Well, now's the time to make sure that he sees these sides of you. Make sure that every single thing that he used to adore about you are on full display now.

When I was trying to save my own marriage, my husband's mind was made up. He was going forward with moving out and then the divorce. Of course, I initially dodged service and refused to sign the divorce papers, but this only made things worse. Thankfully, I realized my tactics were not working and changed course. Eventually, I was able to not only restore my husband's love, but save our marriage. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

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