Before I get into the marriage killers, I want to first express hope for those considering divorce or just wanting to give up on their marriage. I, like many others have gone through very difficult times in my own marriage. Through counseling and applying some of the principles I am going to lay out, my wife and I have come a long way. Of course, we have to continually work at our marriage like everyone else. I strongly believe in that course, take a look into it if you like but for now let's get on with the subject at hand.
1. Being self-centered. This is numero uno on the list for a reason. If you do not consider the welfare of your spouse but only think of your own needs as a pattern then your marriage will reap the harsh results of failure. For those stuck in this type of a marriage, there is hope. Little by little you can take the steps to do something for your spouse you normally would not. It is tough to break this cycle but not impossible.
2. Bottling up your feelings. Eventually all the pent up emotions and feelings will come out one way or another.
3. Holding nothing back. The other side of the coin involves spewing everything out on your partner. This is a balancing act and should come along with time but for those that struggle with speaking too much and showing no restraint, there is hope to breaking this cycle too but it will require patience and a lot of work.
4. A pattern of interrupting each other. Notice most on this list belong to the communication domain. That is not an accident. Most of what we say is expressed in the form of communication. If partners do not feel free to share without interference then problems will certainly persist.
5. Withholding affection from each other. No matter what the offense has been, there should be a policy within marriage whereby each party agrees to come together after and hold each as an expression of validation.
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